Have you ever changed what you wanted to say because you were worried about how people would react?
Perhaps you stayed quiet when you knew you should speak. Maybe you agreed with someone because disagreeing felt uncomfortable. At another time, you might have worked hard to gain approval from a person who never seemed satisfied.
This week, we are working on Step 3 of my 10 Steps to Self-Care Challenge:
“Don’t be a people pleaser.”
Today, Paul’s words in Galatians 1:10 give us an important spiritual perspective on that challenge.
PAUL ASKS AN IMPORTANT QUESTION
Galatians 1:10 asks whether Paul is seeking the approval of people or of God.
Paul then makes his position clear. If his goal were simply to please people, he would not be serving Christ.
That message can challenge us today.
Of course, caring about other people isn’t wrong. God calls us to love others. Likewise, listening to wise advice can help us grow.
However, seeking guidance is different from allowing everyone else’s approval to determine our choices.
PEOPLE WILL NOT ALWAYS AGREE WITH YOU
People-pleasing can become exhausting because it gives other people tremendous power over our peace.
One person approves of your decision, while another disagrees.
Someone likes what you say, yet another person doesn’t.
Consequently, if approval becomes the measure of whether we are doing the right thing, our confidence can change depending on who is standing in front of us.
Faith gives us another place to begin.
Instead of asking, “Will everybody like my decision?” we can pray:
“God, is this the direction You want me to take?”
PRAY BEFORE YOU CHANGE YOURSELF FOR OTHERS
When you feel pressure to please someone, pause before responding.
First, pray for the situation.
Next, consider whether the request agrees with your values and responsibilities.
Then ask whether saying yes would require you to ignore a healthy boundary.
Finally, make your decision with kindness.
Prayer does not guarantee that every decision will feel comfortable. Nevertheless, it gives us an opportunity to seek God’s wisdom before reacting to pressure.
YOU CAN LOVE PEOPLE WITHOUT LIVING FOR THEIR APPROVAL
Jesus calls us to love others, but love does not require us to agree with every request.
Likewise, kindness does not mean abandoning our convictions.
At times, following what you believe is right may disappoint another person. Still, disappointment does not automatically mean you have acted wrongly.
You can remain respectful.
You can listen.
You can speak kindly.
At the same time, you can stand firm in your values.
TODAY’S SOUL CHECK-IN
Think about one area where you frequently seek approval.
Perhaps it involves family, friendships, work, social media, or another relationship.
Now ask yourself:
“Am I making this decision because I believe it is right, or because I am afraid someone won’t approve of me?”
Take that question to God in prayer.
Then remember Paul’s message.
Our goal cannot be to keep everybody happy.
Instead, we can seek God’s wisdom, treat people with love, and have the courage to live according to our convictions.
Being kind matters.
Loving people matters.
However, you don’t have to lose yourself trying to earn everyone’s approval.
Sometimes protecting your peace begins by remembering whose approval matters most.
References
The Holy Bible
Galatians 1:10
BibleGateway
Galatians 1 — King James Version
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Galatians%201&version=KJV
BibleGateway
Galatians — Full Book
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Galatians&version=KJV
