Self-care has become closely connected with spending money. We see advertisements encouraging us to buy something because we deserve it, treat ourselves because we had a difficult day, or purchase something new to help us feel better.
There is nothing wrong with enjoying something you can afford. However, financial self-care also means being honest about what we really need.
This week, my 10 Steps to Self-Care Challenge is focused on Step 2: “Say exactly what you mean.”
Usually, we think about this as communication with other people. Yet there is another person we need to communicate honestly with—ourselves.
WHAT DO I REALLY NEED RIGHT NOW?
Have you ever had a stressful day and suddenly found yourself scrolling through online stores?
Maybe you weren’t looking for anything when you started. Before long, something catches your attention, and you begin thinking, “I deserve this.”
Perhaps you do.
Still, before hitting the buy button, try asking yourself a different question:
“What do I really need right now?”
Your honest answer might be:
“I am exhausted.”
“I am stressed.”
“I need something to look forward to.”
“I feel lonely.”
“I need a break.”
“I am bored.”
“I really do want this, and I can afford it.”
That last answer matters, too. Financial self-care isn’t about never buying things you enjoy. Instead, it’s about making intentional decisions rather than expecting every purchase to fix an emotional need.
CREATE A SELF-CARE PAUSE
Before making an unplanned purchase, give yourself a short cooling-off period.
You might wait until tomorrow before buying something online. During that time, ask yourself three questions:
1. What am I feeling right now?
2. What do I actually need?
3. Will buying this help meet that need without creating another problem?
Sometimes the answer will still be yes. If the purchase fits your budget and you genuinely want it, you can make that decision intentionally.
Other times, however, you may discover that what you really need doesn’t cost anything.
LOW-COST SELF-CARE CAN HAVE A BIG IMPACT
Rest can be self-care.
Taking a walk can be self-care.
Turning off your phone for an hour can be self-care.
Sitting outside with a cup of tea can be self-care.
Prayer, journaling, gardening, stretching, listening to music, setting a boundary, or going to bed earlier can all provide space to recover without creating another bill.
Most importantly, these activities may address what we were actually seeking in the first place.
PROTECT TOMORROW’S PEACE
Financial wellness is part of peaceful living.
A purchase that gives us minutes of excitement can become stressful later if it causes us to struggle with a bill, add to credit card debt, or regret spending money elsewhere.
Therefore, financial self-care asks us to care about both versions of ourselves—the person who wants comfort today and the person who will manage the money tomorrow.
This week, practice Step 2 with yourself.
Say exactly what you mean.
Instead of automatically saying, “I need to buy something,” stop and name the real feeling or need.
Then choose the form of self-care that actually matches it.
Sometimes that may be a purchase.
Other times, you may discover that what you were looking for wasn’t sitting in a shopping cart at all.
References
Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB)
Consumer tools and resources for managing money:
https://www.consumerfinance.gov/consumer-tools/
Federal Trade Commission (FTC)
Consumer information and guidance:
https://consumer.ftc.gov/
American Psychological Association
Information and resources related to stress and well-being:
https://www.apa.org/topics/stress
